It's no secret that the voice of a woman sounds like a whisper to a lot of people as if we were still of the 1920's. Let's face it, Women in general are a force to be reckoned with. Women of Color however have endured and continue to endure many unfair practices, lack of family /community support and balancing their lives with sometimes angry kids and highly toxic relationships. Many women would say that women in general have the possibility to battle many toxic relationships. This is true but only to an extent. Our men have some of the most deep rooted pain any one person can experience in one life time.
"We are the backbone and support to one of the richest temples on earth. The Black Man." - Signed, The Black Woman (Urban)
Black Dominant Woman. I can't and won't speak for other Dominant Black Women, but I can speak for myself. My mother was an Accountant for a Prestigious Modeling Agency in Chicago and during school vacation times I would work for my mother at age 14. My mother was very funny, open-minded, outgoing but very strict when it came to business. She would wake me at 5:30 am to accompany her to Downtown Chicago and stay thee until 6:30 pm. She paid me with breakfast and lunch; and other snacks could gather at the small convenience store on the corner. She taught me some light accounting but definitely typing, filing, errands and data entry. I didn't start off working in a retail position at a local clothing store or fast food joint like many other kids my age, I worked as an Administrative Assistant for the a Government Agency. My other also was a professional networker like myself. I started a paid internship from age 15 to 17 years old. My journey in leadership began there.
Having a mature mindset and a child at an early age determined for me that I would be skipping ahead a few years and having to grow up much quicker than a 15 year old with no children. I persevered through and became independent and on my own at 18 years old. I had my own 2 bedroom condo, vehicle and full time corporate position that allowed me A LOT of training. Going to college online also helped me realize that I was capable as an adult who was returning to school after having been out of high school for at least 10 years.
Relevance? Building blocks to a journey of experience that trained me to be a trainer. Taught me to be leadership minded and wanting to have control of as many things in my environment as I could. My romantic relationships all eventually became unnerving and tiring because I seem to attract people to my shining energy who ended up being energy vampires.. People who were looking for some type of new life that they thought I could provide them. A unique happiness. It was different for each partner but emotionally, I was the captain each time!
I made friends with some really amazing and uniquely learned people. 2 of the most amazing people grabbed me by the reigns once they saw the potential I possessed. They mentored me and learned me; opened my eyes of how I can continue progressing as a leader but also making sure to have some fun in some of the things I would be a show in for. Like being a Mistress. Yadda Yadda Yadda - I am wearing the hat.
My Walk Into Dominant-hood
I transitioned from being a little Switch to being a Whole ass Dominant. I swear I tell people all the time, where you land isn't always where you will end and that's okay. Its called progression. Many will shun this type of transition however I LOVE to defy the odds and piss entitled people off. My circumstances are my own. Either enjoy my journey with me or move the fuck on. Its that simple.
I remember when I contacted my Male mentor Matthias Black and informed him that it was time. I was going back under Mentorship to assist with my transition. He was more than elated to help me settle my name, Dominant orientation even conversations navigating what types of submissives I think would be a best fit for my personality and skill sets. Though Mistress Nia is never far she too got wind of the transition and gave me her blessings. My then wife of 13 years was elated that I would finally be the person to the outside world that I had been to her for so many years.
Once all of the details were configured, it wasn't long before I had submissives who had already admired me in my walk as a submissive approach me. It might have been a little evident that I was not just a submissive to people who were already looking in. Almost immediately I started vetting my first submissive. She was pretty damn dope. We lasted a little less than 1 year. Pretty good for 1st go round! This was now, some years ago and we are still close.
Some of the male Dominants that had known me as a submissive via The House of Hustle; found it very difficult to see how I could be in the role I was in. Some frowned upon it and stopped associating with me. Some male Dtypes embraced, encouraged and supported the transition while others started side chatter that was quite unbecoming of Dominants but expected of humans. I haven't really cared much about the perception of others so this was a breeze for me. I don't require the approval of any other than my Mentors.
Sir Hustle is one of the dopest floggers I have ever seen. He has such a urban swag to his style of flogging that I modeled my style directly from his. While building my marketable skills I also began pushing education down the throats of my followers LOL. Urban Kink is really a platform that encourages living your best life while pursuing education for any and every lifestyle you engage in.
It made sense that I had experience in training people in corporate and 5013c environments that I was capable of training not only a submissive, but waves of people appearing throughout my journey. That is when I got the idea to start making myself available for Paid Live and Virtual Demonstrations. I now travel to educate people who want to know more about kink and private parties who want to engage their guests in something a little more taboo.
No, I don't want to stomp on your balls!
I am a Sadistic Mommy Dominant and Disciplinarian. Yes, Humiliation and Degradation are a couple of my kinks but I don't lead that way. I'm nurturing, loving, stern and growth focused. Do I have a mean side? I do. One that has to always be checked because of my love of being physically and mentally intimidating. Come here and let me pet you or rub your belly. You can rest in my cage or eat out of this pet bowl but I won't be calling you a bunch of sissies or bitches. Not my style.
When most Caucasion male submissives see me, they immediately Fetishsize me. They have a projected image of how a Black Powerful Female Bitch will smash their worthless smalled dicked spirits into the mud with my Ass! Negative. That type of service is paid ONLY. Do I have the capacity to execute such a scene. Yes!
I think its important that every Dominant have multiple strengths and abilities to play with different types of submissives.
A Dominant Apart
What makes me so unique? Why do people follow me? Surely for their own reasons. Could be the sexual prowess. It could be the lack of filter I display. Maybe its the fact that I've put out kink videos OR Could it be that people have actually seen my submissives in action and know that I do mean business. I use my big Chicago personality to show people how outgoing I am but it does come with a flip of the coin kind whim. My temper is not foreign to some of my followers as well. I try and keep that controlled and under the support of my partners and mentors.