World of Black Kink
When I think about my identity in regards to today’s society, there are many layers and subgroups that encapsulate how I navigate the world. In that same sentiment, the world of black kink is both an intimate and a vast one.
While the BDSM community is generally welcoming of all identities, there is a sense of comfort in being among your own community within a community. Since I began this journey, I have met and seen so many different things that I never would have been exposed to had I chosen to maintain a mainstream understanding of sexuality and sexual expression.
Being a Black kinkster has brought me to so many different places mentally and physically, and for that I am truly grateful because it has made me more confident in what I like, what I want and what I desire. Within the BDSM community, people have the opportunity to gather in many different ways. There are munches, which are meet-ups that take place in non-kink spaces, like bars or restaurants for example. Munches present the opportunity for us to gather with friends or people newer to the lifestyle who want to learn and share. During this phase in my life where I wanted to consume as much research as possible about the Black Kink community. I’ve come across a group of people from around the country who come together to host events dedicated to the free expression of sexual identity. One such event, which has come to an end as of this year after a glorious five-year reign, has left a lasting impression on all attendees, including myself, especially after I connected with some organizers.
Thinking back to when I started participating in BDSM, a lot of the information I now know I came across through internet stalking. I feel like part of my role is to help those who are interested in pursuing BDSM not have to go down the same path that I did or feel isolated for what they like. Since I’ve been in the BDSM community, I’ve met and observed people from all over the world who shared their stories, their experiences, and identities. For me, it has definitely been one of those journeys where I can expect constant learning and evolving. My introduction to BDSM was not in a place that was Afrocentric. Even when I returned home, the introvert in me was okay with forging this path on my own. I am grateful I’ve had the opportunity to meet and engage in Black Kink spaces in Detroit and travel to other places to watch any scene with others like me. The adage “sex sells” is very familiar to the American tongue, however, BDSM still maintains a hint of taboo within the black community, so there are not many accurate and relatable depictions. I recently had a revelation about the cultural significance of my identity with my early introduction to the author Zane. I think this is a shared experience amongst many black girls in their youth, but no one wants to take it a step further and talk about those characters in that" way because it simply wasn’t acceptable.
For people of color who are interested in the lifestyle, this taboo can be daunting when trying to educate yourself and trying to find people like you. When I entered the lifestyle, I didn’t have the resources at the time to properly educate myself on the do’s and don’ts about participation in Dominance and submission. Thanks to the age of information, I was able to navigate towards people and sites that are informative and encouraging. With that being said, I think it’s important to share what I’ve come across in my kink travels with you, because I think interest is better served when it is well informed. The Kink Realm The Kink Realm is an online community I came across pretty early in my non-Dom journey. One of my favorite things about this website are the articles and lists about the interconnectedness of kink and Black identity, specifically their relations back to music and pop culture. I once came across a playlist on there that highlighted songs from black artists with BDSM and kink themes and I was immediately hooked. This collection of resources is amazing for newbies who want to quench their knowledge thirst before jumping into the deep kinky pool. Mollena Williams I don’t think any word I use to describe Mollena Williams would do her justice. I had the pleasure of briefly fangirling over Mollena last year, and honestly, I wish I could have done more to tell her how much her journey meant to me as a Black woman. Writer, BDSM Educator, actor and former Ms. International Leather, Mollena’s presence is purely captivating. I first fell in awe of her via her Bawdy Storytelling feature, found here.
In this feature, Mollena talked about her journey dating and serving in the lifestyle and how she eventually came to meet her now husband, composer George Friedrich Haas. No matter the media, Mollena does a great job speaking about her experiences within the realm of BDSM and being a “trembling flower of submission.” Orpheus Black Orpheus Black is simply a legend. During my kink journey, he was one of those people I’d come across repeatedly and again and again be in awe. I never imagined that I would meet Orpheus Black in person, nor watch him during kink scenes and believe me, it was definitely an experience. Black People Kink Black People Kink is a podcast/blog that I came across very recently, but I think they do an excellent job in engaging with their audience about their own TPE (Total Power Exchange) relationship and other perspectives within the BDSM lifestyle. Dominus Blue and Baby J are both entertaining and informative and give a very honest and unique glimpse into how their relationship got to this point and what it takes to make it work. If you’re looking to learn more about the world of black BDSM/Kink, the aforementioned resources are a great way to inform yourself about safe, consensual, and pleasurable experiences. And of course, if you come across any more BDSM-related resources, please feel free to share!