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Is He/She a Dominant? I wonder what what it's like to be with a Dominant! They are so exciting. This thrill is an exciting one!
Everything can be exciting about seeking out a future Dominant. For many reasons both sides of the slash (D/s) seek the thrill of the unknown and newness of dynamics. You should be excited! Its a new journey. A new chapter in your life you get to write. As excited as you are, don't go throwing caution to the wind so soon. Dynamics ARE relationships. Do you have what it takes to get through rough patches? Learning curves? Are you wanting to be fully vested or just the ocassional play time? Don't go forgetting that when the new dynamic scent wears off is when the real shit happens. Trust, integrity, loyal, discipline and self-determination should kick it strong. That strong sexual urge you have is only a limited percent of what you need in order to have a fighting chance at being dynamic prepared. Preparing yourself for any relationship takes a lot of work! Many don't see it this way. This is why many submissives enter into toxic dynamics. They are toxic before vetting even begins. When there is a NEED for anyone, you can start to really explore Co-Dependency AND Abandonment issues. Wanting is a different animal. Seeing the thrill and having the new school girl/boy appetite. Notice I used school boy/girl as the best way to describe the position of the submissive. You should be learning at every chance. Oh! You thought this article was about Dominants? Nah. Just the opposite. This is is for the submissives, also known as the s-types. Submissives! Time and time again you will see me speaking about the importance of knowing yourself. At least to a point where you are capable of handing over the " Chronicles of You" handy manual. How do you expect to relinquish control over someone you have no control over? I'm talking about yourself. Im guilty of it too s-types! Everything that glitters ain't gold. Sometimes its the glare from the lights that might be giving us some type of misconception. Often times, we are eager to follow the Leader and we have no idea what that truly means. Are you comfortable with someone leading you blindly because you are so ready to relinquish control? Hopefully! This is what gets the submissives in trouble. The collective thinking of I want to be lead; I have no idea who I really am and lastly; Who in the hell is this person I'm handing over my rights too? Even if only a small amount and temporary; giving someone access to perform acts that will directly communicate with our minds and sensory system is a bit much. Let's revisit why you may not be ready. What legwork have you done to prepare yourself for...Thats right! Yourself!! Do you know who you are? Your strengths? Weaknesses? What do you stand for? Fall for? Are you capable of following? If you have been a submissive under my Leadership, you can attest to how important being useful is to me. As a Sadistic Mommy Domme I tend to be very nurturing which makes my charges feel comfortable. They feel adoration. The flipside to that is, if you are not in service, anticipating my needs and hungry for knowledge and self discovery; then subbies? Keep it moving. While I do love a good scene, I feel much better when my charges have earned my care. Submissives, do the self homework. Before engaging with someone and giving them the green light to control any part of you, YOU start controlling you. Get tired of knowing YOU and Investing in YOU that you are actually better prepared to vet your Dark and Deviant Suitor! Good Day! -Urban